Dharma Doll

Wow, the past couple of months have really slipped away from me. It was just warm and beachy, then all of a sudden it was Halloween (he was Daruma), and now it's Thanksgiving. And he'll be two (TWO!) on Saturday. Time really does fly when you're having fun.

Zephyr is growing so fast, both cognitively and physically, and I can barely keep up. In the past two months he's gone from using maybe 20 or so words to 100 words, and is starting to form sentences. He's finally catching up. Our favorite latest development is his contraction of "yes, please" to just "yep." We still ask him to say please, but "yep" is pretty cute. I've listed the rest of his words at the bottom of this post for posterity and record-keeping.

He's finally entered the part of his speech development where he is copying and repeating words in addition to his normal attempts at talking. We try to model proper speech by repeating back to him what he's trying to say. For example, if he says "apeas! apeas!" while standing next to the horse, we say "I want up please!" Oh, by the way, any four-legged ungulate is 'moose.' Horse is moose. Elk is moose. Deer is moose. At home he has an Ikea rocking moose, so we blame the Swedes for this one.

Also, in a tragic case of "Who's on First," Zephyr is calling a lot of things "mine." He doesn't necessarily think they belong to him, it's just that when I hold my coffee and say "this coffee is mine. that water is yours," he thinks "oh, she said that cup of coffee is called 'mine'". He doesn't assign the ownership to the word 'mine', he just thinks it's a label. I guess all kids probably do this, but when this clicked for me it was kind of a revelation. It's always nice to know that our kids aren't totally narcissistic sociopaths.

Zephyr loves trying to jump. It's still really more of a stilted gallop, and his vert totally sucks, but it's adorable watching him try. He also loves doing barrel rolls on the carpet and walking up and down stairs and his little step-stool.

He's starting to mellow out a bit, but last month was challenging, with lots of mood swings. These photos were taken within 30 seconds, during which time he went from sheer ecstasy:

to rage:

I guess he didn't like the silly faces I was making at him after all.

Since the end of September, we've been members of Eastside Family Co-op; it's a part-time day care that is run entirely by parents. He goes three mornings a week, including one with me. It's been really nice for me to have two mornings a week to myself to get work done (or just catch my breath, increasingly), and he gets lots of solid playtime with other kids his age. It's just 1.5 months to 3.5 year olds, so he's right in the middle developmentally. He's really thriving there.

Zephyr's friendships at Co-op are starting to blossom. He loves to hug and kiss his little friends, which sends my cute overload meter soaring. He went through a bit of a hitting phase at around the time we started, but fortunately it was very short-lived.

He's starting to become aware of the potty, or at least the bathroom. He goes into the bathroom whenever the door is open, points at the toilet and says "pee. boop." I know it'll be coming soon, but I guess I just haven't felt like pushing it. I ask him if he wants to go potty and he's already out the door and onto something else.

All of these new tricks are amazing, but it's also becoming very apparent that Zephyr isn't a baby anymore. I actually have to learn how to parent him now, to help him become the best person he can be. It's really scary to know that I, alone, could fuck this kid up completely if I don't do this right. I'm reading every book out there, and have really found the Positive Discipline techniques valuable. I'll probably be taking at least one class to help retrain me. I get really worried about my ability to do this when my knee-jerk reaction is to yell, and I know he deserves better, so I'm just working as hard as I can. As one mom at Co-op likes to say, "it's a process."

Walky Talky, Redux

...or, Why I am So Damn Tired All the Time

It's been a long time, I know. Sorry about that. I've been too busy chasing my kid all over the damn place, and couldn't be bothered to blog about. And even now that he's taking a nice long nap (all tuckered out from his first swimming lesson), I barely have time to eat lunch and get the rest of my other writing done. So here's what I'll do instead: I'll just show you.

Dizzy? Me too. My favorite part at 0:24, when he's startled by my presence with the camera.

Here's Zephyr's version of a phone call (on a remote control), which is representative of pretty much all talking he does.

No, I can't understand a word he's saying either. I'm hoping that eventually he starts trying to talk correctly, but for now he just babbles incoherently at varying volumes. Sooner or later he'll realize that it's just faster to tell me what he wants instead of pointing and saying "dis, dis" all time.

The last video I want to post is of him splashing around and being silly in his kiddie pool, but he's nekkid as a jay bird in that video, and I don't want any trouble. So that one will just be for Grandma to watch on my phone when she comes to visit in a couple months.

Zephyr's been doing great, though, and aside from the not speaking clearly, I think he's humming right along on his little milestones. His pediatrician said to let her know if he doesn't say ten words in a month or two, so that's a nice thing to be paranoid about. As it stands, he can say "mama," "dada," "caw! caw!" (for crow), "ball," "all done," "hi," "hello," and "I love you." A few weeks ago we were at the book store (he was in the carrier on my back) and I guess he got bored standing there, because he patted me on the shoulder and said "yecko, Mama" ("let's go, Mama"). And he never said it again. Same with several other words, uttered perfectly clearly, plain as day: strawberry, medicine, kitty. I'm choosing not to worry about it yet, because I feel like I'm already doing what I'm supposed to. I talk and read to him plenty, play with him every day, and narrate everything for him, nearly to the point of lunacy. We always freak out and panic that he's behind on things, then just at the last minute he comes along like it ain't no thang.

And it ain't.

Walky Talky

Oh, what a long time it's been since I last updated this blog. Such a bad mommy I am! I've had lots of other writing to do, and I guess I let things slide around here a bit.

Zephyr can walk now - measurable distances, even. He slowly, carefully makes his way across the living room. It's funny, when he's holding something such as a sippy cup, he covers much more ground and with less trepidation than when he is consciously walking.

Other than that, not a whole lot is different. He said the word 'medicine' last night, then repeated it twice to assure us it wasn't an accident. "Mmmm-dsin," he says sweetly, yearning for that candy-syrup Tylenol. We only give it to him at night, when his impending molars seem to genuinely fuck with his head.


Actually, the persistent waking has gotten so out of hand that we finally had to draw the line, and began the night weaning process last night. No, let me be more specific: we are sleep training him, for reals this time. We were having pretty good success with just letting Scott go in and give him a hug, but at 17 months, he really should not be waking up every couple hours hollering at the top of his lungs. Somewhere along the way, he forgot how to just suck his thumb or resettle, and learned to shout for us. So now, no more rocking him back to sleep in the middle of the night. We go in, pat him on the back, give him his blankie and wish him a good night. No more nursing in the night. He hates this. Last night, the first one, was very rough. From around 1:00am to 3:00am none of us slept. Scott didn't get back to sleep until about an hour before his alarm went off.

Today we're all pretty exhausted, but we'll survive. Hopefully it won't take long to get him squared away again.

I'll post again as there are updates, but for now, I'm just looking forward to Mother's Day with my guys.

The Cheese

We survived Zephyr's first birthday party the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We had cupcakes and bubbly to ring in the occasion, to celebrate passing our first year as parents and for keeping him alive. There were about a million kids in our house, running laps like wild dingos, and yet I completely kept calm and nothing got broken. It was amazing (the me-keeping-calm part).



He has more tomato sauce on his face than cupcake, I almost feel sad about this. I should've wiped his face off before giving him his cupcake so I could get good photos. Oh, well.

Oh, man, new stuff:

He's repeating animal noises, like the high-pitched "whee-e-e!" of a horse (I try to make realistic animal sounds for him, and my "neigh" is right proper), the low "mooooo" of a cow (his is a guttural groan) and random sounds I've assigned to the insects on his favorite puzzle. Bees and flies are no-brainers, but I've decided the wings of a moth go "thfthfthfthf" and spiders go "bulubulu" when they crawl. He's also stringing together more syllables on his own, in response to us and to tell us his thoughts on various matters. We'll try to remember to nod and shake our heads more so he can communicate the basic "yes" and "no," and eventually "no" will become his favorite word.

And big one this week: he stands alone! He just sort of did it one day last week, then again for a few seconds longer, and now we'll just look up and notice that he's fully standing unassisted, playing with a puzzle piece or somesuch. The funny thing is, he doesn't seem to realize it's a big deal and doesn't look at us for a big "ta-da" or anything. He's just like "finally, I can use both hands for playtime. It's about time."

Independence is his main goal, now, as evidenced by his inability to hold still for a diaper change (we've taken to just changing him on the couch and turning on the TV) and his newfound tendency to throw his spoon and bowl onto the floor when we try to help him eat. We try not to get too mad about it, and instead just say, "that's not cool, Zephyr."

But we really just need to let him do his thing, let him know that we trust his abilities (new and shaky though they may be), and let him fuck up once in awhile. It's the best way for anyone to learn, and I know I'm not doing him any favors when I fix everything for him. It'll take some doing for me to learn how to step off and get out of his way, but I think every mother struggles with this. I know I will, probably forever.

Toofsome

We finally have a third tooth. Just in time for his first birthday next week! You can see it there poking out. I keep hoping he'll end up with a diastema. Since Scott and I were both gap-tooth kids, signs point to 'yes'. Mine was "fixed" when I had a crown put on my front tooth (I broke it in half on my 18th birthday), and I wish they'd left it alone. Oh well, chances are Zephyr'll have one, and will hate it, and I'll always tell him how awesome and adorable it makes him, but he'll never believe me.


Here he is practicing his waving. He does this a lot, waves to himself by opening and closing fingers like the sign for "nurse." He will actually chase the cats through the house on all fours and stop to wave at them (he combines the wave with the "c'mere kitty" sign when he does this).

I have no idea, either. Best just leave this one a mystery.

His new camera face, though, appears to be bracing for the flash. I hate using the flash, but it's so dark all the time now, what with the rain and all those moody doldrums in the air. Nowadays we spend a little more time snuggled under a blanket watching cartoons and a little less time strolling around. I do get stir-crazy, though, and I'm sure he does too. Our house just doesn't feel big enough for all his explorations and I will probably start making the pool a more regular occurrence. I want to take him to one of those baby gyms but I don't want to expose him to all the ick that covers toddlers. But I know his little immune system needs a workout, too, so maybe I'll concede. Or maybe I'll just invest in some good rain gear for him.

Other news this week:

• Stacking is sticking around. He will stack things up in his hands, Scott's hand, and mine. However, if I am the one who stacks, he instantly destroys the stack. This has prompted the invention of a new game: How Fast Can You Stack Before Baby Smash
  
• He can use the sign for "more" (though it ends up being more of a touching his palm with his index finger), and he uses it a lot for food. If he thinks I'm holding out with fruit, he will ask for more until he's eaten about twice the capacity of his stomach.
  
• He freely gives objects to me if I present my open palm.
• He can drink with a straw (though he still prefers to empty a cup all over his dinner tray and himself).
• He can climb up and back down stairs. One more hallway needs blocking.
  
• Today he opened the under-sink cupboard. I went to put the locks on it, but turns out, we bought 5 of the latches for the fridge and none for cabinets. There is presently a rubber band around the cupboard handles, and this seems like it'll do the trick just fine.
  
• He can now stack those stacking rings back onto their peg instead of just picking them off and throwing them to watch how far they'll roll.
  
• He will put his toys BACK in their basket when I ask him to! Sure, he often picks up the basket and dumps them back out, but then he puts them back in!

This is all pretty much in one week! I can't believe how fast things change; once he's picked up some momentum, this boy is unstoppable.

Kururimpa

Zephyr had his first Halloween. I'd been dreaming for years of dressing a baby as a character from a video game, and Zeph's plump and curvy body type matched perfectly to Tingle, the 35 year-old cartographer and map seller (from the post-Majora's Mask Zelda games) who is obsessed with forest fairies (hence, his green costume). His catch phrase is "tingle tingle kooloo-limpah!" (or kururimpa in Japanese).

Quite the match, don't you think?

I'd like to assure you that the costume didn't look nearly this bad in person - the stupid flash made the colors look all wonky. I only sewed two strips of fabric to the bottom so his hat would be more like a hood and stay on, but it ended up looking like a strange, green beard in the photos. Nevertheless, this was an awesome first Halloween costume, and regardless of what his Auntie Tanya says, he will not need years of therapy when he grows up because of it.

New favorites and firsts this/last week:

He had his first swim outside my body on Monday, with our new mom friend Rachel and baby friend Fred. Thank goodness for the Mt. Scott Community Center family swim! It falls perfectly between morning and afternoon nap times, and if we get the hang of getting changed before and after swimming then we even have time for lunch without pushing the afternoon nap too late. It was so cute seeing his little legs kicking gently in the water, and we danced and danced around that pool, splashing woo at each other.

I've been sewing soft toys for him out of recycled felted sweaters. So far I've made him a little blue fleece Totoro plushy (with lavender in the stuffing to help him get sleepy), an owl with orange leaf wings, and a fuchsia frog that looks more like a one-armed monster with an extra chromosome. The frog is the overwhelming favorite among the folks we know. I made an etsy page to sell more of these whimsically ugly plushies, because I'm having so much fun sewing them, I thought I might try to make a few bucks off it. Now I just need to add some items to it.

His new favorite thing to watch is Mio Mao cartoons. He will actually belly-laugh when the cats get into their claymation foibles. It's hilarious. He's also becoming much more adept at putting things into his stacking cups and drinking from sippy cup without help. He can drink from regular cup without help, too, but has a hard time putting it back down without spilling water all over the damn place (which he does on purpose sometimes).



All of our photos this week seem to be of Zephyr in costume or eating. If this glorious weather keeps up, I'll be getting some obligatory baby-in-festive-sweater-sitting-in-pile-of-leaves photos. Maybe this afternoon.

It's not a bloodbath, it's baby's first beets.

Oh, speaking of eating, we have another new first this week: today, Zephyr ate his first booger.

Indian Summer

After a brief flirtation with fall-like weather, we are back to warmer days. And after a two-month stint with sleep regression, we are back to good old-fashioned, 12 straight hours, through-the-night sleeping. It started on Monday night with 13 straight hours. Scott actually went an woke him up at 7:30 so we could keep on schedule for his morning nap. I woke with my breasts as hard and swollen as when they first made milk, dripping everywhere until I could nurse for relief.

Surely this was a fluke? Then, naptime at 9:00, he finished nursing and looked at me, murmured a few babymumbles, and he rolled over with his thumb and blankie the moment he hit the crib. He napped for 3 hours that morning, then again in the afternoon. And though his naps are not always that long, he has regained his record of sleeping all night long without needing a snack. From 8 months until 10 months, almost to the day, I was afraid that this wasn't just a phase, but then it was. Everything is.

He can say "mom," and "yum." He makes music with a rattle I made of a yogurt tub filled with dry beans. He shrieks with delight when we play peek-a-boo. He has discovered his penis. He eats dirt if we let him.

He is a perfect little boy.

Cruisin'

This is a boy on the go. Each new mobility achievement is unlocked nearly before my very eyes. This week: everything but walking. On Monday, on the forgiving grippiness of the library's flat weave carpet, he just started cross-crawling (the classic belly-off-the-floor, alternating hand-knee crawl as seen in the top photo).

This means that getting him to hold still for photos is pert near impossible anymore.

He also pulls himself to a kneeling position, warranting his crib's transition from new baby height to big boy bed height. We caught this just in the nick of time - he was probably moments away from launching himself out of the crib. He stands when placed near furniture for balance, and then proceeds in trying to climb said furniture.

He's still only got the two teeth, but this week's epic droolfest suggests that maybe, just maybe, teeth #3 and #4 will be making their debut soon. He still eats mostly mushed up stuff like these pureed carrots with cooked acorn squash from the garden, but I've been giving him more chunky stuff like flaked salmon, boneless anchovy fillets, berries and diced fresh peaches. His pincer grasp is accurate enough that he feeds himself for 75% of his meal. For messier stuff (like last night's elk chili), we still help him out by passing him a loaded spoon. And he eats. And eats. Like his mother, this kid eats like he has a tapeworm. (Disclaimer: he does not have a tapeworm.)

Now, our main feeding challenge is keeping enough food around. He's years away from being a teenager, and is already threatening to eat us out of house and home.

Fluffer Nutter

Here's Zephyr an hour before surgery last Wednesday, giving the proverbial thumbs-up, being a strong little trooper at the hospital and charming the shit out of everyone. His surgery went well, and he's recovering nicely. I even held it together, only crying a little, and only once. It wasn't even over Zephyr per se, it was over some little boy being pushed on a gurney to or from surgery. The little boy was really scared and was just wailing. It just really hit a nerve and I had to duck into the waiting room kitchen for a tissue.

Rather, when Zephyr woke up from his sedation in the recovery room, I heard him crying from down the hall and went into Mother Bear mode, all raw adrenaline, and ran to him, undoing my shirt on the way. It felt amazing to be the thing he needed, to hold him and make him feel safe and loved. The nurse in the recovery room tried to cover me up to give me privacy, but coming off the heels of Big Latch On (in which we participated) I righteously shrugged off the blanket and insisted that more people should see a mother nursing her infant. The other mothers (their personal feelings on public breastfeeding notwithstanding) didn't notice, though, because they were too busy staring love at their own cubs.

But that's all done now, and he's healing up quite nicely. Now he can get back to the unfortunate business of cutting his two upper incisors. These ones are really fucking him in the head - for the first time, today he pulled away from the breast mid-nurse just to arch and sob. Not even cherry-flavored codeine could chase this pain, and it took sheer exhaustion (ours and his) to get him to nap for more than 20 minutes today. Adding insult to injury, this nap came at 3:30pm, so I had to wake him up after only an hour and a half so we could still get him to bed on time.

Good news, though: Zephyr has just learned that pressing his face against the mesh of his pack 'n play a) feels interesting and b) gets major laughs. He likes getting laughs. Since he can't hang out in his exersaucer while his nuts recover from being helped into their new location, he's been spending a little more time in his little pen. Or as I like to think of it: "Baby's First Prizzin!" Scott said he even saw Zephyr running his little cup along the mesh, like a prisoner running a rusty tin cup across the bars of a jail cell.

He got to spend a little time hanging out with his cousins Logan, Ellie and Charlotte over the weekend last week, which he loved. He absolutely adores them, for obvious reasons: they are hilarious and completely rapt with him, and this is a winning combination in his book.

To top things off, his Grandma was in town. It's been so great having her around this week - not for the help, necessarily, but because she is in love with Zephyr, and he with her.

Oh, his new trick of the week: demonstrative word recognition (is that a thing)? Besides "mommy" or "dada," that is. We've been seeing quite a few squirrels outside our window since I refilled the bird feeder. These are basically smaller versions of our cats, as far as he's concerned, and he screams with excitement when he sees them. New trick: we were reading I Am a Bunny and got to the page that shows the squirrels in their tree with the acorns and all that, and I said, "look! there's a squirrel!" to Zephyr, and he looked up and out the window at the tree where the squirrels normally hang out. It blows my mind that he's already absorbing information - my work is just beginning.

He has had such a great week overall. Plus, his nuts are finally in their proper place, so there's that.

Yay!

Back on Track

Another late post! It was my birthday this week, and between work-work, the food blog and the blog I guest-write, I just haven't found the time to update Zephyr's blog. I'm a terrible mother, I know! I can just hear my mother-in-law's coworkers rapping their fingernails on their desks, impatient for an update. But since I'm a bit lazy, I think I'll excerpt from my post this week on the Big Latch On blog:

To Nurture is a Mother's Nature

My son, pictured in the photo you see here at one week old, is now a robust 7 months old. Nursing was then, and continues to be, our special shared time. To nurse is to feed, to care for, to tend. Think of the words that sound similar, and are of the same etymology: nourish; nurture.

While we once spent the better part of our days together this way - intimate, luxuriating in one another's company - the time spent breastfeeding my son is now a collection of fleeting moments between a rapid-fire succession of developmental milestones. I cherish these precious moments of his mutable infancy, even as he squirms kicking from my cradled arms, distracted by the so-much-excitement of his surroundings.

Even if I continue to nurse well into toddlerhood, I know I can't breastfeed him forever. I already miss it. So I relish the time we do still have after every nap, during every lullaby. And I search for other ways now to nourish and nurture my sweet baby.

Check out these amazing vintage trousers I found. He looks like a little baby from the 1950s, dunnhe? He's growing so fast. Talking is imminent! We're sure he said "buh-bye!" to Scott the other day when he was leaving for work, but he hasn't said it again yet. He waves his hand back and forth now when we greet him. He babbles incoherently, but with determination.


Blurry photo, but worth it for the comedy. He loves technology (always and forever), but obviously we can't allow him to destroy our iPhones, cameras, and other gadgets, so we took the batteries out of an old remote control and he just gums the shit out of it. He loves it! I hold it and press the buttons while I'm secretly using the "real" remote behind my back so he thinks he has the power. But usually, he's content just chewing on it. Look at our little future flutist!

Thank goodness, his waking has subsided for the past three nights (sorry, Natasha!). I'm not quite calling it yet, but it's been nice to have uninterrupted sleep again. It affords me the energy to do millions of things with my day...besides write about my baby boy.

Little Green

"If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life."
-Bill Watterson

Zephyr had his first forays into the wilds last week, nettle-picking (as a passive participant) and moss-stepping (as a more active, if forced, participant). He thoroughly enjoyed himself, or the walk at least, and I was better for the exercise. The weather started to take a serious turn for the worse in the midst of our stroll, and certain a downpour was imminent (the wind and clouds were telling), I ran him and the stroller across the north lawn at Reed College toward leeward trees and their relative shelter (relative to a field, anyways). His Graco Metrolite is not intended for off-road use, though, and I'll probably need to tone down these adventures or get a new stroller (in which case I will tone these adventures way up).

Yep, things are really starting to get exciting with (and for) Zephyr. Every day he's a mite smarter, a little abler, and just a bit more cognizant of his world. His hands are more articulate, and he now derives great pleasure (and maybe some pride?) from turning the pages of his board books when we read to him. His bedtime story is becoming so rote that he even waits for the pauses in our lilt before reaching his chubby digits toward the stiff page edge.

In our attempts to get him to sleep more than two hours, we gave him his first rice cereal last week. At first we just put it in a bottle of warm breast milk to make a thin slurry (cut a hole in the nipple to promote flow), but once the novel first few tastes were swallowed, he just let the last two ounces dribble out of his mouth and gave us a funny look. He ended up waking up after two hours anyways, so the next day we tried just giving a few spoonfuls of a rice cereal-breast milk mush. This didn't work either, but the rice cereal does effect a powerful change in the texture and odor of his shit. Needless to say, we've backed off the solids for the time being.

Could he look more like his father? I think not.

Now that Zephyr has been hanging out in his exersaucer, his legs are getting a lot of practice supporting his weight. He stands with help for several seconds at a time, and delights in his new skill. I think he feels powerful and strong on his little legs. Tummy time is still not totally his favorite, but the new play mat that I picked up at Ikea is turning him around on floor play. I just regret not having gotten Zephyr onto a comfortable floor setup earlier. Though, I will admit that there is a strong temptation to just leave him there while I tend to matters around the house.

Finally, I wanted to share this triptych of Scott, Zephyr and myself, all at 4 months of age. It's really remarkable how much he looks like the both of us instead of just one of us. He has my mouth, I think, and he totally has Scott's chin. His eyes look like both of ours. I think he's cuter than either of us, and greater than the sum of his parts. Zephyr is our awesome son and he is synergy.

Zombie Baby

I went back to work yesterday. It's not the same as before, I just have a few projects that I will work on, and primarily from home, but I did spend five hours in the office yesterday. It felt pretty good to put on a button-up shirt and pay too much for parking, to be on the phone and to crunch numbers. I felt like Career Mom Barbie, pumping breast milk in my old office. If anyone other than Scott had been home with Zephyr, I never would've made it those five hours. It'll be interesting to see how long I can keep it up, though. Next week I think I might take Zephyr out to a field visit with me. We won't have to get out of the car.


Zephyr's latest trick is this thing where he acts like a baby zombie. It only happens when Scott is holding him (and he's hungry). He will violently lurch forward toward Scott's chest, mouth agape, and just gum at him like a hungry baby zombie. It's really hilarious.

And the last update (they are few this week), we have found that Zephyr loves being in an exersaucer. It's nice to be able to have him in the kitchen while I work, without him getting bored in a matter of minutes. He even seems to be aware of cause and effect, mashing buttons that name animals and mimic their sounds. It's so wonderful to see his little gears turning.

Sorry for the brevity - weekly updates are only as thrilling as the milestones themselves. Not that it's not a total rollercoaster...